The Most Powerful Word: Allowance
There is one word that makes a difference in succeeding in both life and business, and that is: allowance. Encapsulated within this word is all the power and determination we need to move forward. If you take some time and examine the word, you will find multiple definitions at its core. Here are a few mentioned from thefreedictionary.com.
1. to allow
2. admission; concession
3. an amount that is allowed or granted
5. to take mitigating circumstances into account in consideration
We have all experienced one of these topics being played out in our lives. Why? Because the word allowance sits at the core of our development as a human being as well as the future strategy and growth of our businesses. Each day when we wake up we get the privilege to choose what we are going to allow and grant, give admission to or concession to, and what circumstances we are willing to take into account as part of our daily agendas. As you can see, strong application of this principle allows you to manage success and influence at a whole new level. The bondage and freedom that stems from allowance is the result of the wide-spread application in every area of our lives. Failing at allowance is different than failing in math. If you fail in math, no big deal, you just go find a job that is way more interesting anyway. If you fail in what you allow, you won’t get a job in math or anything else. Most likely you will stay exactly as you are, where you are and with no satisfaction of real positive change (plus, you annoy anyone who is attempting to improve their lives, even if that means trying to eat one extra piece of fruit every day).
Let’s say you allow agitation at home or frustration during your work day. Well fortunately or unfortunately, you have just allowed that to happen. Even in the event the first thing you had to do that morning was call an 800-number than put you through the all-too-familiar, mind-numbing, energy-sucking automated prompt system merry-go-round. I get it. Even though it is borderline impossible not to slam the phone on the ground, we are still in control of what we allow.
When we nail this concept of allowance we will realize how particularly powerful it is when applied to the area known to many as “blessing, favor, good luck, or good fortune.”
Couple things to consider here: 1) How can this concept help me win influence with those around me? 2) How can I increase my income, job position, accumulate wealth and faith, etc.?
Well it’s beyond simple. You know you better than I know you so this is where you must commit to true self-examination. You must confront and become aware of what you are good at and what you fear more than anything else and then write these down. These dictate the types of decisions we make, so I am suggesting that you spend a good amount of time becoming aware of who you are, what you can do and what you cannot. Once you do this, you can begin the new path of allowance.
Here are a few examples of how I’ve applied the power of allowance in my business, career and personal life:
In my first business: Six years ago I started a real estate company. Not more than 12 months later, I realized how little I knew about the industry along with how much money I began losing overnight, quite literally. My whole life was an agitation, and a big one at that. Family relationships were suffering, banks accounts were dwindling, local authorities were knocking, and my health was deteriorating. In all reality, I had every reason to wake up and allow agitation, frustration, depression, anxiety, among other things (feel free to insert pretty much any word here) but after a couple months of drudgery, I started to change. In this area, here is what I allowed: I allowed people to come back in my life and help me. I allowed myself to admit to others what I was failing at. And I allowed myself to feel the honest hurt, fear and pain that was in front of me. The main concept I learned here was to allow myself to be real and transparent and that would open doors to overcoming any hurdle or roadblock.
In my career: I knew I wanted to be influential, successful and intelligent within education. So instead of jumping into an industry I didn’t know much about, I asked God to help direct me and connect me this time. This route allowed a natural sequence of events that lined up with my heart’s desire. When I let go of the will power to succeed, I was able to loosen my grip on life and become flexible to different avenues to reach my end desired state. Now each day I grow to be more thankful and grateful for every person I encounter.
In my personal life: I just mentioned I learned to be real and transparent in the first example so here you go. What most don’t know about me is that my whole life I have struggled with anxiety and depression. When I captured this concept six years ago at the age of 20, I finally began to see a potential fix. My top four most fearful of fears were socializing with other people, trusting them with personal resources, becoming known in any community I took part in and working with others to achieve some greater goal. I know, pretty much opening up my eyes in the morning was enough to start struggling through the day.
By using the concept of allowance in my personal life I’ve been able to: start a second company in technology called Folioboy, win multiple national awards including 2012 Student Entrepreneur of the Year and Winner w/ Highest Recognition in the 2012 Venture Creation Challenge, spend three-days at a Summer Seminar of Seth Godin’s – a nationally renowned marketing guru and ex-Yahoo! Executive in New York City, successfully restructure my real estate company into a profit-producing machine, speak to Ivy-League school Columbia University in New York, brought on a co-founder for new business venture opportunities, get accepted into the 2013 Inaugural _________ (TBA) and more importantly than anything else, rebuild the best of the best of family relationships while also being mentored by some of the wealthiest men and women across the country, including a local KC billionaire.
Yes, allowance works. It starts with silent words like, “Even though I’m scared, I’ll stand strong and let you get to know me,” and “I see someone over there that would be great to get to know, they are interested in what I’m interested in, already successful and willing to help, so I’m going to walk over to them and start the conversation.”
It is the back and forth of allowing and disallowing, admission and concession, and appropriately applied tolerance that creates a synergy out of both people’s energy and commitment which then provides the safety/confidence to overcome and move forward with your goals, dreams and ambitions. And which is also the beginning to what others call, “blessing, favor, good luck and good fortune.”
Allow yourself to enter the connection economy and my wish is that blessing will follow you wherever you go.